Have you ever had times where you realise, your bff has changed. And that you were delusional and thought she is still the same girl?
I mean change is good, don’t ever get me wrong. It is in which way have she swayed towards to. The improving or dwindling. Dwindling sometimes is great, but you must dwindle responsibly as it might come back to haunt you someday. I know what kind of bullshit I am speaking. How do dwindle responsibly? Because someday, your ghost of your past might just come up.
I have no more fight in me when it comes to Friendships and Relationships.. If you want to go, go.
So. Letting go a best friend is worst than a relationship break up. Or I suppose. Because the memories as usual are always like flood gates. I know years don’t define the friendship quality. But can you imagine growing up with this same girl and slowly one fine day you girls decided you were both complete match.
- We NEVER fall for the same guy. No relationship problems.
- We can share clothes, but our fashion style is totally different. Never need to snatch for LAST piece when on sales.
- We can have loads of fun just sitting there and laughing at strangers. Spending time never been this fruitful too.
I walk into her house like my own, treat her parents with great respect too.
But when things turn a little off, I tried. I did try. I talked to her, but she never gets it.
Around that time you started taking forever to reply my text messages and only ever responded to say that you were “too busy” to meet or you have already pre-planned meet ups with other people, or just say you were busy at work and ended up going out anyways. I was originally in denial about what was happening. I didn’t want to believe that the girl who had been my best friend since forever didn’t value our friendship anymore. I was still one that you cherished.
It took more than just a while for me to notice that you really changed and I wasn’t your closest friend. I’m not going to lie, I was devastated when I figured it out. You were the one person who knew everything about me and never seemed to judge me, so I felt betrayed to know that you were not going to be there when I needed you again.
You always re-assured you would try to be there, and you weren’t good with words and sometimes being there doesn’t help. I was the one who needed help, why weren’t you there when I reach out, when I was drowning. Yes I do have other friends. But there’s a reason why I looked for you right? So why was it so hard to understand?
So then I have decided, this was it. Till someday you might look back think why was I never there for you, I did. I always try my best. So yes, you did broke my heart. So here’s an open letter to my bestfriend whom I knew for so many years and sorry if I gave up first. But you have long thrown in the towel before the battle begins.
Loving you always,